Aaron Johnson’s Neighborhood

            I’m not really sure how to sum up my experiences in the classroom thus far. I guess most importantly I am still here, which is an accomplishment in itself. I find teaching to be an overwhelmingly demanding job, not just professionally, but emotionally.

             I didn’t want to go to work this morning. My alarm went off at 5:45 a.m. , snooze, 6:00 a.m , snooze and then I just laid there for 30 minutes debating whether or not to show up for work.  My cheerleading squad of 11 decided to unanimously quit the team yesterday, as if to punish me for trying to instill some sense of discipline in them. It hurt; it was a slap in the face. In the shower, I made a compromise with myself, I would go to work 20 minutes late, but cancel cheerleading.

            I was talking to my good (TFA) friend, and we were trying to identify the type of relationship we have with our students. It’s an awkwardly fluid dynamic in my classroom. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I love them (some of them I do), but despite how they mistreat me and sabotage their own education, I still care. I’ve come to see right through their anger, frustration, and insecurities.  I’ve learned to detach myself from their misbehavior. That’s probably why the whole cheerleading incident was so upsetting, because for the first time in a long time, I had allowed my students to manipulate my emotions.

            My students know more about my life day to day than my very own mother who gave me life itself.  They know when I’m in a bad mood, in a good mood, when I get a new pair of shoes, when I straighten my hair, when I don’t straighten my hair and so on. Moreover, they’re keen to point it out. Likewise, I know when their frustrated, motivated, going through a breakup, recovering from the flu, etc. I keep my observations to myself however.

            In terms of this course, I think Dr. Monroe is a very encouraging and positive instructor, and I did enjoy the discussions in her class. I appreciate her humility and her willingness to negotiate our unique teaching experiences with her expertise.  

Although I am not completely new to the teaching profession, I often feel similar to first-year teachers since I am in my first year at KIPP Delta in Helena, Arkansas. In certain ways (easy and plentiful access to resources, myriad intelligent and hard-working colleagues, high expectations on student behavior and academic output) KIPP is very different from the school I taught at the past two years in Belzoni, Mississippi. In other respects (socioeconomic and racial demographics, general lack of student motivation, administrative acquiescence to parents) it is quite similar to my previous school. In reflecting on this first semester, three major realizations that I have encountered come to mind. I will reflect on each briefly:

1) KIPP students are no different from other students.

The students that I work with in Helena are very similar to my students from Belzoni. If often feel like Helena belongs on the other side of the Mississippi River somewhere deep in Quitman or maybe Leflore County. It would closely resemble other large Delta towns like Greenwood, Clarksdale, and Indianola. Prior to moving to Helena I thought that the students at KIPP were better off socioeconomically than average Delta kids or that they had more committed parents than normal. I found that my students have no silver spoon in their mouth and few doting soccer moms in their house. Students misbehave just as much at KIPP as they do at other public schools. What has actually been even more surprising is the heightened level to which a number of students misbehave as they seem to attempt to either get expelled or get their parents to take them out of KIPP due to our high behavioral and academic expectations.

2) KIPP entails a major commitment on the part of teachers.

The commitment that KIPP teachers make to their students begins early. In looking at my Gmail Inbox, I count over 50 emails sent between myself and KIPP administrators and fellow teachers between the first week of June when I accepted their offer of employment and the last week of July when we began our professional development/orientation. This is in addition to (at least) weekly phone call check-ins while at home in New Jersey that my school director (principal, essentially) and I had regarding my assignments. Yup, assignments. With due dates, criteria and all. On my first day of professional development I had a beautiful new cell phone waiting for me at work. This phone is with all the time and the number goes out all over to colleagues, parents, students, and anyone else who would like to contact KIPP Delta's 7th grade math teacher and debate team coach.

My work day usually begins at 5:30 and I'm usually at school sometime between 6 and 6:30 a.m. I'm rarely the first (or second or third) teacher there. Prep periods are scant and I'm one of the lucky few teachers with a morning AND afternoon one. Multiple teachers have NO PREP PERIOD. I'm also fortunate in that I only teach one core subject. Other teachers teach two (i.e. math and science or English and social studies) and some teach two strands of a core subject in the same classroom (i.e. algebra to 20 kids on the right side of a classroom and geometry to 10 kids on the left side...simultaneously). Although the regular school day ends at 4 p.m. (recently shortened from 5 p.m.) most teachers are expected to do an hour of an extracurricular activity and/or an hour of tutoring in their subject area each evening. Thus, my work day usually ends at 5 p.m. due to daily math tutoring and on Tuesdays and Thursdays it ends at 6 p.m. due to my coaching the debate team. I'm usually home about an hour after my work day ends...although I live only a few minutes' drive from my school. Saturday school occurs bi-weekly throughout most of the school year and a three-week long summer school is mandated as well.   

3) KIPP is the most innovative educational environment I have ever been a part of.

If you are psycho about teaching (and yes, essentially all MTCers fit into this category...at least all of those who last a year) then you will fit right in at KIPP. Far too often I felt that I was working much harder than my colleagues at my previous school. I would literally be laughed at for grading papers (even EXAMS). I was often the first teacher there and the last to leave. Students complained that my class was harder than their others. And on and on and on.... At KIPP, more or less all teaches are crazy, hard-working beasts. Almost everyone on the faculty is 20-something or barely in their 30's and from all corners of the nation. Together we are part of an amazing educational experiment that allows us to choose our own books and curricular material, teach using innovative instructional strategies, change the schedule on a daily basis as necessary (need an extra half hour for math? Just send a text to the phone of the ELA teacher), and sometimes even kidnap kids to get them to achieve at the very highest levels possible (ask me for stories). Where else could you have a school director mandate that teachers jump on a table in the cafeteria in front of the entire student body and sing and dance on cue or enter a classroom where intense pre-algebra instruction is occurring and mandate that every student smile at him while telling the teacher to hold up the arms of students who refuse to smile so they can be tickled into submission (both have happened to me this semester)? Anything but ordinary. Simply extraordinary.The movement is moving.   

Chimaobi Amutah
EDSE  647
Book Review

Is Bill Cosby Right?: Or Has The Black Middle Class Lost Its Mind?
by Michael Eric Dyson

    Each year in cities and towns large and small throughout the United States races for municipal office seem to boil down to two dominant, pervasive, and recurrent political issues: public safety and public education. Crime and education are so important to citizens because they concern not only the voters themselves but, most often, their invaluably precious children. Whether one looks at statistics outlining arrest and incarceration rates or dropout and literacy rates, the racial group doing the worst across the board is Blacks. Myriad theories have been put forth as to why this is the case and a plethora of articles and books have been published based on formal, scientific research as well as informal observation and reflection. In the book Is Bill Cosby Right?: Or Has The Black Middle Class Lost Its Mind? by venerable Georgetown University professor of sociology and cultural commentator Michael Eric Dyson, Dyson reflects on Bill Cosby’s take on why the community that he is a part of seems to fare so poorly in this society.
    The book’s antecedents lie in a highly controversial speech that Bill Cosby delivered in May 2004 after receiving an award at a commemoration event paying homage to the historic Brown v. Board Supreme Court decision of 1954. In his speech, Cosby decried the state of Black youth today who speak improper English, fervently pursue careers as athletes and rappers, and lack the basic self-discipline and motivation to make anything of themselves, their families, and their communities. Cosby’s comments sparked a firestorm of responses, most critically from other Blacks who felt as though Cosby’s age, wealth, and fame have left him out of touch with the current youth of the Black community and thus disqualifies him from making such generalized and hyper-critical statements. Michael Eric Dyson was one such critic who has made a point of combatting Cosby’s harsh rhetoric.
    In his book, Dyson, in true social scientist form, makes the case that extrinsic issues are more to blame for the myriad issues facing urban Black youth of today than a lack of quality parenting as Cosby professes. Dyson points to still-present and documented institutional racism that accounts for police arresting and charging Blacks at rates much higher than other racial groups as well as prosecutors seeking trial and incarceration more often than plea bargaining and judges issuing lengthier prison stays for Blacks. Dyson places Cosby in the same tradition as other elitist Blacks throughout U.S. history who were heavily critical of Blacks who they felt embarrassed the race, particularly in front of Whites--the “Afristocrats” as Dyson cleverly deems them. He makes these points all the more personal with regards to Bill Cosby by pointing to Cosby’s own struggles as a parent such as fathering a daughter out of wedlock and having another daughter publicly struggle with overcoming a drug addiction.
    This book is highly pertinent to the work that we as educators do, particularly at my current school. The KIPP network of charter schools in general and KIPP Delta in particular prides itself on working in rough inner-city and rural communities with majority-Black and Latino students from low-income backgrounds. One of the hallmarks of KIPP is discipline and the lengths to which we go to have our students speak, sit, walk, and even read with proper etiquette is amazing. Visitors to our school from local farming groups to the Governor of Arkansas remark at how amazingly well-behaved, courteous, and well-spoken our students are. This behavior seems to fly in the face of their preconceived notion that our students would be the type of students that Bill Cosby lambasted so passionately back in 2004. Our poor, Black students are expected to be loud, speak improperly, get into fights, and not have high standardized test scores. Far too often, students internalize these expectations and they morph into self-fulfilling prophecies. Thus, Dyson is correct in saying that low-quality parenting is not the predominant factor contributing to the state of Black youth today. Sadly, a lack of exposure to their own possibilities and a dearth of self-esteem are more deserve a greater share of the blame.

In the famed lyrics of Bon Iver's Skinny Love:  "my, my, my, my, my, my, ohhhhhhh."

While I do enjoy typing/facebooking on my free macbook as well as a scholarship to Ole Miss, undoubtedly the best part of Mississippi Teacher Corps is its participants. It is always refreshing to hear from my fellow corps members, and Pete Nelson’s class speech embodies the bittersweet experiences of teaching, studying and living with corps members in Mississippi. I can’t even imagine what this experience would be like if it weren’t for the MTC and TFAers with whom I vent, share stories, complain, swap favors, and drink margaritas.

In his speech, Pete Nelson discusses the forever-lingering questions “ is this all worth it?” Is leaving for work at 6:30 am, living 2000 miles away from home in the woods, and growing grey hairs for the sake of education all worth it? I don’t think I’m prepared to answer that question at this point. However, I will say that after going home for the first time, I have realized that this experience if anything is interesting. Ironically after waiting four long months to get a break from my students, it turns out that I spent most of that break thinking and talking about them.  I’ve become consumed with endless stories, jokes, and memories of my students that sound more like a Hollywood satire than a reality. It is not until you go home and talk to the people who know you best, that you realize how bizarre and surreal your life has become.

In addition to the story time with friends and family, over the break I decided to attend a History of Social Theory course with my friend who is still at U of T. I lasted about 15 minutes before I had to call it quits.  They were debating Durkheim’s sociology of religion and querying whether society was god, and I was debating whether or not to give my students extra credit. It is crazy to think that only 6 months ago I was a student, but my life has completely changed now.  As an equity studies major I spent four years in university mostly talking about making a difference. Yet now, as Pete points out, I am actually doing something, not just talking about it.  Is all my hard work actually making a difference? I think so.

I was like a lot of my students in high school. I never really wanted to work to my full potential and take advantage of all the resources available to me. I enjoyed my Spanish class, but I enjoyed cheerleading and hanging out with my friends even more. One of my Spanish teachers in particular always tried to push me, and expressed disappointment when I didn’t fully respond to her efforts. I had a growing interest in Cuba at the time, and as a Cuban exile, she made a conscious effort to share her experiences with me. It was not until I studied abroad in Cuba four years after taking her class, that I realized what an influence her teaching and stories had had on my trip and life.

My teacher fled Cuba when she was only 9 years old, and never returned thereafter. The Cuban government seized her family’s property over 50 years ago, and has been redistributing it ever since.  While I was in Havana, I went to her family’s former home to talk to the current homeowners and look around (they were Cuban, so of course they just let me right in). When I returned home, I shared the new family’s stories and gifts with my teacher.  It was in these emotional and powerful moments that I spent with my Spanish teacher, that I came to truly recognize and respect the central role that she and probably many other teachers have played in shaping my worldviews, opinions and life experiences.

As teachers we never know what sort of impact were having on our students’ lives. Unfortunately our success is not measurable or visible. If all I do is challenge one student to think in a new way, or inspire another student to make a change for the better, then yes, this will have all been worth it. 

In her speech about schools of education, Secretary of Education Anne Duncan discusses many of the challenges and rewards of teaching in today’s diverse and globalized society. Her speech primarily investigates the questionable role that schools of education play in preparing new teachers for these challenges.  Many of her remarks are reflected in my own personal experience as a teacher here in the Delta. 

Duncan argues that it takes a university to prepare a teacher.  However, as with many historical scholars who Duncan quotes, I too admittedly question whether good teachers are made or born. In my short teaching career, I have failed multiple times to effectively reach my students, and I wonder if this is the result of poor training or inexperience. On one hand, I agree with the three out of five ed school alum who feel as though “ they did not get the hands-on practical teacher training about managing the classroom that they needed, especially for high-needs students.”  There is no question that summer school training did not even closely mirror the strains and pains of managing a classroom of 25+ every period, every day, for a year.  I hate bitch and moan, but I received 0% training on how to teach Spanish prior to entering the classroom. Our program focuses so much on the disciplinary aspect of classroom management, that basic things like student attendance, monitoring student progress and actual quality teaching were overlooked.

On the other hand, I feel as though teaching may just be something that is learned through experience. Although I continue to struggle, I noticeably improve everyday as a teacher.  I am slowly beginning to understand my students, the faculty and the community in which I teach. It’s essentially been a process of trial and error. I’ve learned to always listen to advice, but not always take it.  What works in one classroom may not work in another. Also, teaching is unlike most other academic disciplines in that it is a performance based skill. One’s ability to think critically, knowledge of the subject content, organizational skills and so on does not indicate how successful they will be as a teacher. Some of my best-written lesson plans turned out to be a catastrophe, whereas some of my on the spot ideas have proven most effective.

Duncan makes a strong argument for reforming schools of education in her speech. However, I am still uncertain of the role the schools of ed. even play in preparing quality teachers. What I do know however, as both a teacher and student, is that education bears its fruit long after the seed has been planted. 

though i think arne duncan's speech on "teacher colleges" was pretty well-crafted, i don't know if i truly still understand the concept of a teacher's college.  before i get into explaining why perhaps the most important thing could be to fund these institutions, i think i need to see if i actually believe in what they are aimed at doing.

This was my second time watching this speech, I originally watched it before I came in this summer. I thought that I understood what Pete was saying in his speech the first time that I watched it, but I now know that I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. Now that I have been in the classroom and have experienced the topics that he is discussing, I now more clearly understand what Pete is saying.

I am glad I watched this a second time because he was able to put into his experience into a 13 minute speech. It is hard to really describe to anyone outside of teaching and outside of the program what we are really going through. One of my favorite things that Pete said during his speech was that this is one profession that working hard does not necessarily define success. The funny thing about that is one would think that you can get by with last minute planning or just making lessons up as they are happening, but the kids read into that so easily. Therefore, you have to take time to plan and to try and make good lessons, even if they are a failure.

Pete also talked about losing a student and how much that incident impacted him, both as a teacher and in his life. This, as morbid as it is, is one of my biggest fears. Almost once a week I think about what would happen if I lost a student. The students and I are becoming more comfortable in one another and they are beginning to confide in me more and more. I do want this, because I had high school teachers there for me to confide in and I want my students to feel free to talk to me without pushing them into opening up. As silly of a concern as it may sound, I am really afraid that I am going to get close with a student and they are going to end up in a drug deal mishap in Memphis on a weekend and become a casualty. I have too many kids that do and sell drugs for something like that not to happen.

I am glad that Pete shared that moment with his class, and thanks to Ben, with the world on youtube. Like Pete mentioned, sometimes I feel like I'd rather be punched in the gut five times than to go to school but I hope that after Thanksgiving I will be energized and ready to teach again. 

Secretary Arne Duncan's article was enlightening but it made me have even more mixed feelings about teaching, I am enthused and worried, proud and ashamed, love and hate my job. Sometimes, as Duncan stated, I do feel like an unsung hero but often I feel like I am not fulfilling expectations, mostly my own.

Duncan writes, “Teaching has never been more difficult, it has never been more important, and the desperate need for more student success has never been so urgent.” When I first began I would have been motivated by this sentence. I would have felt that I could be the one that would teach kids, they would understand everything, and my life would be great. I quickly realized that this was an idealistic way of thinking and it ended up bursting my bubble a bit. I don't really know why I assumed that my students would share my love for reading and they would enjoy every minute of my class. This was apparently a silly assumption because the majority of my students either can't read or those that can hate reading. I think that I am slowly becoming a better motivator in my classroom and the students are SLOWLY starting to change their tune about English. Although, I did have a student ask me, “Ms. Breaux, why do we have to read in here, it has nothing to do with English.”

This comment was discouraging, and I know that I am a first year teacher, but my students should understand why reading is important to English class. Comments like this make me worry that I am not a very good teacher. And again, this makes me have mixed emotions about teaching, especially after reading this article. The Senator points out that “Teaching is one of the few professions that is not just a job or even an adventure—it's a calling. Great teachers strive to help every student unlock their potential and develop the habits of mind that will serve them for a lifetime. They believe that every student has a gift—even when students doubt themselves.” Am I a great teacher? I can easily answer “no” because I am discouraged too easily by the stupidity of students. Is teaching my calling? Everyday I am beginning to believe that it most certainly is not. Do I think that every student has a gift? I can finally answer “yes” to this question. I believe that every person whether it be a bum on a street or a cardiovascular thoracic surgeon has some type of gift. Most of the kids do not have the gift of reading well, but I can see that each and every one of my students are talented in some area or another. I need to be able to harvest these talents and use them to my advantage.

I think that only the great teachers are really able to harvest every students talents and I hope with all of the new teacher positions coming available in the next few years that there will be new teachers who are able to understand and touch every student. Maybe I am not confident because I am still in the first few months of teaching and I have not seen the results that I wanted to see, and I hope over time I am able to become a better teacher with fewer worries. 

I agree on the whole with most everything Duncan has to say. I remember saying a lot of those things several years ago during my Rotary interview. Teaching as a profession has been too long like working in a fast food joint-- a low-paying job that's easy to get, that too often turns the preparation of wholesome sustenance into a slipshod assembly-line process...and more times than not ends up with too many of the people one would least want handling something important doing exactly that.